Skyping Tobias in Cambodia

I sometimes am lucky to catch Tobias on Skype, late at night, right before I send my computer to sleep. Last night was one of those times. Tobias is currently in the area of Seam Reap, Cambodia -- which is where the temples of Angkor Wat were built. He's been there, off and on, for almost three years now, working on an interesting project to build an agricultural dam for the people there. How he became interested in this area and involved in this project is documented at his Web site humantranslation.org and the particular story is kind of a parable for how younger people engage the world. You should probably read this story at:

Temples & Broken Dams; The Monks of Wat;Phreah Enkosa

Feb 20th, 2004

What's become even more interesting, to me personally, is how I'm responding to his project. There was a time, immediately after his first return from Cambodia, when I was very skeptical of his experience. And, to be honest, listening to his stories about his travels and the people he's met, I was probably a bit jealous of his adventures. He had recently graduated from college, had no particular plans in mind, was not immediately involved in any long-term relationships, and was as wide-eyed about the world as most people his age. I kept kidding him that his bedroom was in worse shape than many third-world countries, and he laughed at that analogy. But then, over time, I started to watch him pull things together.

You know how it is, I'm sure. It's like when you happen upon an accident in the middle of the street. You're pulled in multiple emotional directions: Do you stop? Do you help? Do you go for help? Where do you go for help? How do get the help? How do you get the help to the victims?

Or do you turn away? Do you try to put it out of your mind? Do you say to yourself "I really wasn't equipted to help!"? Or "That's someone else's job!"?

I was deeply interested in how Tobias would deal with this particular problem of Seam Reap and the requests of the people for help. How would he sustain his focus? Would he sustain focus?

All these are questions of a father, watching his son move into the responsibilities of adult-hood. And so his journey has become a sort of parable for me too, trying to stay in contact when he is half a world away.

And then, there are the pictures that he sends back: Haunting pictures of kids like these.

This morning, I showed these pictures today to Merriella who comes every week to clean the house. Merriella is from Mexico -- (Yes! She is a US Citizen, in case you're wondering.) She's known Tobias since he was called Toby in highschool, and many is the time I've asked her to help me clean up his bedroom. So she asks what he is doing. And I do my best to explain it to her, but finally just show her the pictures. And she says "These very very poor people! So poor!"

And of course it's true. Then she says "It is good that we send money to help these poor people!"

And I say "Actually, I sent them my son." and she laughs.

Then I look again at the pictures, and here is a young man, holding his own son up proudly to the camera -- his prosthetic leg (his own leg blown off by a mine?) just barely in the picture, and scars on his face, and his little boy naked ....

Can you blame him for looking so proud?

So anyway, what is Tobias up to?

• He's managed to incorporate his work into an organization (HumanTranslation.Org) and obtained legal help to turn it into a non-profit corporation with tax-exempt status. (Not a trivial task, in and of itself).
• So far, his organization called HumanTranslation.org has raised about $25K of the $50K estimated to build the agricultural dam that will irrigate a second crop of rice for about 5K people. This money has been kept aside and ear-marked solely for the dam project and assorted water infrastructural projects. A lot of help has come from the Orange Kids network.
  
• He's found another good person, named Will Haynes, from Chicago, to volunteer his time over in Cambodia and help in the project. Will wrote a great intro to his own experience that can be read at "Field Report: Words from Will".
  
• He's managed to get a small promotional film started, which has appeared on YouTube, which you can view here!





• They're going to start digging the dam soon, having obtained engineering help from Engineers Without Borders.
• They've made some sort of arrangement with a water filter manufacturer back here in the US to provide reverse-osmosis (I think) filters for villagers (the orange box in the top picture is one of over 40 installed so far.)
• He's planning to return to the states at Christmas time to try to raise more funds.
• He's currently trying to help orphans who live in a Buddhist pagoda with an outbreak of scabies (that's what we skyped about last night.)
• He's living off his scant savings with no health-care himself.
• Seems to be in good spirits, but has no time to write about them right now.

So, that's why I'm posting this somewhat nostalgic message, I guess. Tobias is really out in the world, on his own, making his way. Yes I'm jealous of his adventures! Of course, as a father, I'm proud of what he's accomplished so far! Sure, I'm still skeptical that he'll get it all done -- but there is so much to do! But he's doing something! So how can I criticize, sitting here.

And, finally, he sends his congratulations back to the U.S. to all of us who were involved in the elections. All this, Skyping Tobias in Cambodia late at night.

So what am I gonna do?

I'm going to go clean up his room!